Fireflies
by vLightnDarkv
Summary: When Lloyd wanders away from camp because he can't sleep Kratos goes to look for him and gets reminded of events of the past...


Fireflies

After a long day of traveling the group had finally settled down to camp. Raine offered to make that night's meal, but Genis had quickly insisted she rest and let him do it, saying he had a new recipe he wanted to try out. The others had breathed silent sighs of relief. Even Kratos, who often did his best not to show his disdain for Raine's cooking. After eating, Kratos and Raine watched as Lloyd, Colette, and Genis played a few rounds of I Spy before insisting the three get some sleep, despite their protests of not being tired. Once they had finally settled Kratos went out to check the surrounding area. When he returned he found things were not as they had been when he left.

"Where's Lloyd?" he asked.

Raine, who was busy writing in her journal, didn't look up. "He said he couldn't sleep, so he went for a walk."

"And you let him?"

"I told him it wasn't a good idea, but he insisted he wouldn't be gone long."

Kratos sighed, why couldn't Lloyd ever do as he was told? "And how long has he been gone?"

"I'd say about fifteen minutes. Give or take."

The mercenary looked out across the clearing in which they had made their camp. Even with his heightened senses he could see no sign of the young dual wielder. Lloyd was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, Kratos knew that, but the boy was also in an unfamiliar area. If he wandered too far he might not be able to find his way back to camp. He could also take a break from walking and end up falling asleep, leaving himself completely defenseless. Kratos wouldn't put either possibility past the youth. Shaking his head, Kratos took his seat beside the fire. The minutes ticked by in silence, the only sounds being those of the crackling fire and Genis' light snores. Another fifteen minutes had gone by since Kratos had returned to the camp and still there was no sign of Lloyd. Raine, who had finished with her journal some time ago, looked off in the direction Lloyd had gone.

"He's still not back..." she said. Kratos could hear the concern in her voice. "You don't think..."

"I'm sure nothing has happened to him," Kratos said, though he too was beginning to wonder what was keeping the boy. "Lloyd is a skilled swordsman, he can handle himself."

"I have no doubt about that, but being skilled with a sword isn't going to keep him from getting lost."

So he wasn't the only one thinking Lloyd had got himself lost. Kratos' gaze followed Raine's for a few moments before he rose to his feet.

"I'll go and look for him," he said. "If we haven't returned by morning head out without us."

Raine looked at him in surprise, "What?"

"The objective of this journey has not changed. The Chosen must reach the next seal no matter what, that includes one of her traveling companions going and getting himself lost. I will find Lloyd and if need be the two of us will meet the rest of you at the Balacruf Mausoleum."

Raine looked over at the sleeping forms of Colette and Genis. She was uncomfortable with the idea of leaving without the two of them, Lloyd especially since she was in a sense responsible for him. And she knew Colette and Genis would put up a fight over it, but Kratos was right. No matter what, Colette had to make it to the next seal. She was going to have to give Lloyd a good scolding the next chance she had.

"Very well," she said and turned her gaze towards the fire.

Kratos nodded then moved away from the fire and headed in the direction Rain had been looking a few minutes ago. There was no path, and the area was covered in grass which would make following any trail Lloyd may have left much harder. Fortunately it was a clear night, and the moon above gave him plenty of light by which to see with. He knelt down and observed the grass, looking for any sign of which way Lloyd may have gone. He couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw hints of footprints going straight from where he knelt. It was as good a place as any to start so he stood and began walking, keeping his eyes alert for any sign of the young swordsman. It wasn't long before the fire from the camp was out of sight and still there was no sign of Lloyd, just how far had he gone? Kratos continued to follow what he believed to be Lloyd's trail for nearly ten minutes before a small lump broke the otherwise flat ground ahead of him. As he drew closer the lump became the form of a person, and the person became a certain missing duel wielder. Lloyd was lying on his back, hands under his head and eyes on the night sky. He was unhurt, that was a relief.

"Lloyd," Kratos said when he was close enough for his voice to be heard.

The boy jumped as if he had been shocked and sat up in a flash. He looked around frantically until his eyes fell on his traveling companion, and he stared a moment before speaking.

"Kratos..." he said as he placed a hand on his chest and felt his heard pounding beneath it "You scared the hell out of me... What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"Me? I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk. Didn't the Professor tell you?"

"She did. Nearly an hour ago."

Lloyd opened his mouth to say something when the full of what Kratos had said sunk in. He stared at the older man as if expecting him to say it was all a joke. Then he remember this was Kratos he was dealing with. Lloyd was fairly certain the man didn't know _how _to joke.

"Oh... I guess the Professor sent you to look for me?"

Kratos didn't respond, but he didn't have to. Lloyd knew Raine well enough to know his extended absence would have caused her to worry, and so she had sent Kratos to find him. She always had had a bit of a protective streak where Lloyd was involved. Not that Lloyd could really blame her, he had a knack for getting into trouble.

"I'm really going to hear it from her this time," Lloyd said with a hint of a laugh.

"Probably," Kratos said. "Just what have you been doing all this time?"

"Huh? Oh, I was stargazing."

"Stargazing?"

Lloyd nodded and looked towards the night sky. "It helps me on nights I can't sleep. I used to do it a lot when I was a kid. There's just something... I dunno, soothing about staring at the stars. They help put me at ease."

Kratos watched the boy silently, so he still enjoyed looking at the stars. He hadn't been expecting that little detail, and yet he wasn't all that surprised either. How many times had he taken an unsettled Lloyd out at night so Anna could get some rest? How many nights had Lloyd, perched on his fathers shoulders, stared with fascination at the twinkling balls of light above? Sensing Kratos' eyes on him Lloyd looked over at him and felt his annoyance flare a bit.

"What?" he said. "I guess you think I sounds pretty stupid huh?"

"My apologies," Kratos said, hearing the annoyance in the boys voice. "I don't think that at all. I was merely a bit surprised to hear you say that. It was not something I would have expected."

"Oh..." Lloyd rubbed the back of his head and smiled in embarrassment. "I guess it's not the kind of thing I usually say."

Kratos nodded, "We should head back, before Raine becomes more worried than she already is."

"Can't we wait a little longer?" Lloyd asked. "I'm not... quite ready to head back to camp."

Kratos looked at him curiously, and was about to say he'd been gone long enough when a thought occurred to him. Lloyd had said he would look at the stars when he couldn't sleep because they put him at ease. It had been some time since Lloyd had been exiled from Iselia, but Kratos had no doubt the memory was still fresh in the boy's mind. Not that Lloyd had said anything about it since he and Genis had caught up to them in Triet Desert, but on more than one occasion when Lloyd had thought no one was looking Kratos had seen the troubled look in the boys eyes. A look that didn't belong in the eyes of one so young. But Lloyd didn't want to cause any of them to worry, so he put on a brave front when others were around, and dwelled on his pain alone. It was an action Kratos was all too familiar with.

"I suppose a few more minutes couldn't hurt," he said.

Lloyd smiled then leaned back supporting himself with his arms and looked skyward again. Kratos watched him for a moment before following his gaze. It had been far too long since he had last really looked at the night sky. Doing so had had little meaning after he lost the two most important things in his life. The sky above was nothing more than a projection, so what point was there in looking at it at all? And yet back then he had done it without a thought. The stars had made Lloyd, far too young to understand what was going on, happy, and back then that was all that had mattered to Kratos.

"Fireflies." Lloyd's voice broke through Kratos' thoughts, causing him to look towards the boy quickly.

"What?" he said, unable to hide the surprise in his voice.

"I dunno what made me think of it..." Lloyd said, having not heard the surprise in Kratos' voice. "But the stars kind of look like fireflies."

Kratos could do nothing but stare as Lloyd's comment played over in his head. Realizing what he had said, and who he had said it to, Lloyd looked over at the older man in even more embarrassment than he had shown a few minutes earlier.

"That... sounded really stupid didn't it...?" Kratos didn't respond, and after a moment Lloyd noticed the look Kratos was giving him. "Kratos? Are you okay?"

The question snapped Kratos out of his surprised daze. He cleared his throat and took a few moments to regain his composure.

"Yes I'm fine," he said. "It seems your comment caught me off guard is all. In answer to your question, no, it didn't sound stupid at all."

Lloyd looked at the man in confusion. He was about to ask how his comment had caught him off guard but decided against it. Knowing Kratos, he wouldn't tell him anyway. Lloyd simply shrugged and looked towards the sky again.

"It's weird though... I feel like I've said that before. A long time ago..."

A long time ago...

"_Fireflies! Look daddy fireflies! Lots of them!" an excited Lloyd exclaimed from atop his father's shoulders. Kratos took a more secure hold of the small child's ankles as he bounced and threatened to topple backwards. Kratos glanced up at his son then followed his gaze._

_ "No Lloyd, those aren't fireflies, they're stars."_

_ "Stars?" Lloyd questioned as he looked down at the top of his fathers head._

_ "That's right."_

_ "What are stars?"_

_ Kratos paused. "Well... they're..." How did one explain stars to a three-year-old? "It all depends on how you look at them. For some they're a guide to keep from getting lost, for others they tell fortunes. And for some they're spirits of those we have lost. Stars are different for each person who looks at them."_

_ Lloyd looked towards the sky again. Kratos doubted the child had understood much of what he had said, Anna had always been better at quelling the boy's curiosities. Lloyd stared at the stars in silence for a while before suddenly breaking out in a large smile._

_ "The stars are mommy and daddy!"_

_ Kratos blinked and looked at his son once again. "What?"_

_ Still smiling, Lloyd leaned forward to look at his father's face. "In the day time we're always moving, we don't get to spend time together. But at night we stop so we get to spend time together. And __I've never seen stars in the day time, so they must only be out at night. So the stars will always make me think of spending time with mommy and daddy."_

_ Kratos stared at the happy face of his son and couldn't help but smile himself. The things the boy said never ceased to amaze him. Despite the hardships they went through having to keep on the move Lloyd always made the best of it. He was always happy, always smiling, and Kratos wanted nothing more than for his son to always be that way._

_ "That's a good way to look at them Lloyd."_

_ Lloyd laughed and looked towards the stars once more, Kratos followed suit._

_ A good way indeed..._

"Hello? Earth to Kratos," a familiar voice said as a red clad hand passed back and forth in front of his eyes. Kratos blinked and found Lloyd standing before him looking concerned. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Kratos looked at the boy before him, how long had he been trying to get his attention? Too long he assumed.

"Yes I'm fine. I was just... thinking."

"Thinking? Must have been some thought, you were completely spaced out."

"My apologies. I did not mean to make you worry."

"It's okay. It was just... weird."

"Hm."

Silence fell between the two, but Kratos could almost hear the question Lloyd thinking about the question he was dying to ask. Lloyd folded his hands behind his head and looked off to the side. Kratos opened his mouth to speak, but Lloyd beat him to it.

"We should probably head back," he said. "The Professor's gotta be going nuts about now."

Once again Lloyd surprised him, but at least this time he kept from showing it and simply nodded.

"Indeed."

Lloyd offered him a smile then began walking back towards camp, his hands still folded behind his head. Kratos watched him for a moment then turned his gaze skyward.

_What do the stars mean to you now, Lloyd...?_


End file.
